Today’s song, New Wine by Hillsong Worship became my daily prayer. 

When the Lord asked me to let everything go I struggled before I made the decision. I was trying to imagine a life without pursuing my dream and it didn’t feel good. I was already in agony being back in Chicago and now this. But once I surrendered, I was sure that my decision to let everything go would open the door for me to now leave Chicago. What was the purpose of being here anyway? But that deep desire to leave was about to be crushed.

I remember I began praying and confessing over myself Jeremiah 29:11. Who doesn’t love them some Jeremiah 29:11, right? The promise of God that He has a plan for you to prosper you and not harm you. A plan to give you a future and a hope! We love quoting that scripture. I know I do. But after the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to the truth I quickly learned the importance of knowing scripture in context. Because that promise was made to the remnant that went into captivity as a result of their rebellion against God. But He comforted them with that promise while also letting them know they would be there for seventy years and anyone that told them differently or if they conjured up something different in their minds it was all a big fat lie!

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That’s when the Holy Spirit told me to settle down. I was going to be in Chicago for a while. And while here He wanted me to build and to plant. I remember thinking to myself “Like how long?” because they were in captivity for seventy years! And after what happened a few months earlier when He took me to another passage of scripture and gave me the exact date I was going to lose the blog, I was praying this was not the same scenario. I was crushed. 

But even in the surrender and now feeling crushed, I trusted God. He was literally all I had. I had no plan B or options. He was it for me! I knew what life without Him meant and what it looked like–death. I knew that there was something greater on the inside of me now that wasn’t there before. I knew that a foundation had been laid within me; that no matter what the storms of life brought my way or what I may have brought into my life as a result of sin, that foundation was unshakeable–it was immovable–it was Christ. I trusted that foundation more than anything else in life.

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I didn’t have to understand and I didn’t even have to like it. But I had to make a choice. I had a choice to surrender and obey or resist and defy God. Though I couldn’t make sense of where I was in the journey what I did know was He had never left me or forsaken me in the past. If I was here it was for a purpose–a purpose I couldn’t see yet–but one I knew He had for me–one I knew would yield the expected end He desired. So either I was going to do this His way or my way. I chose His way!

When I heard this song that day in my room, I remember just throwing my hands up in surrender.

Make me your vessel. Make me your offering. Make me whatever you want me to be. I came here with nothing. And all you have given me. Jesus make new wine out of me.

I earnestly prayed the words of this song for months. This was the beginning of my learning about sacrificial worship and dying to self. I had definitely entered a new season. God was bringing me into a closer relationship with Him. He was teaching me how to walk and live in the Spirit. He was doing a new thing–creating new wine!

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Would you allow the Lord to crush you? Would you allow Him to mold you into what He desires? Or will you hold on for dear life to your will and your way? It is my prayer that you continue to answer His call to come closer and go deeper. I pray that His love will compel you to surrender, even when you don’t understand, don’t have all the answers, and when it doesn’t feel good! May you find all that you need in Him alone. May His love, peace, and joy encompass you, embrace you, and empower you to be all that He’s destined for you to be.

Well, that’s all I have for you today! Love you, Fam💕

Until next time…Be Blessed & Go Forth In Faith…Smooches 😘😘