Today’s post is different. I won’t be sharing a story about what was going on in my life when God gave me this song back in 2018. Instead, I will share what’s going on today. I will share how this song is ministering to me at this very moment.
I’m sharing the exchange I had this morning with God as I prepared for this post. The excerpt below is taken from my actual journal entry. I share this only because I believe God needs someone to see it.
Father, how are you today? What’s on your heart? I know I can write a few pages on how I’m feeling right now, but I’d rather not. I’d rather just hear from you. I’d rather just hear what you have to say. What’s on your heart?
(I sat quietly and was then led to read Daniel 5 and 6, and Luke 17 and 18. Then I waited quietly again.)
Where is your faith? Where is that boldness and fire that resides inside you? Are you resting in your ability or giving it to me? Have you considered what I desire?
Have I been lax? Have I not been bold or courageous? What should I do? What is my act of faith? What more should I do? What is missing?
You’ve been waiting to see what will happen. Being passive when you need to be resolute, firm, and sure that I will deliver you. Be strong, be of good courage, and do the work. Faith. All you need is a little faith. It doesn’t require much, but you have to do what is required.
What is stopping you?
It’s time to move. It’s time to go. It’s time to be who I called you to be.
I was convicted. I was not walking in faith. I was merely “waiting to see what would happen” before I put it all on the line. I was waiting to do what He was requiring of me to see what He was going to do first! Because the truth is, this season I’m in has been ridiculously hard. I’ve had to make a lot of sacrifices that have cost me a lot. And quite frankly, I just didn’t think I could take another blow.
Two years ago, I slowly started the process of letting it all go. I say slowly because I don’t want you to get it twisted. This is not some fall at the altar, shedding some tears, and everything in life is just magically perfect. I’m talking about the death of self. I’m talking about the laying down of your life for His. I’m talking about taking up your cross daily. And that surrender for me, my friend, has been like the first line of the song for today… “God, I give you what I can today.” It’s been a day-by-day, moment-by-moment process. But as the next line says, “These scattered ashes that I hid away,” I was still holding on to some ashes from 2018. These ashes, which the Holy Spirit revealed to me this morning, were keeping me from taking the bold step of faith needed in this season.
Here I am today, singing this song and asking Him to help me lay these ashes down once and for all. Here I am today with a repentant heart saying, Father, forgive me for not trusting that you are who you say you are. Forgive me for not trusting that you will do what you said you would do. Help my unbelief! Show me where I have erred. Show me my heart so that I may uproot anything and everything that is not of you. That was part of my prayer this morning to the Father. That’s where I am today.
Where do you find yourself today? Where is your faith? Throughout this series, I’ve been saying one thing. God is calling you. He’s calling someone, and you know who you are. He’s calling you into a relationship with him. He is not calling you into a relationship with a church. You may end up going to church, or maybe not. But it starts with Him. He wants your focus on HIM! You can encounter Him and be in a relationship with Him right where you are, just as you are. It starts and ends with Him.
He wants to be not only your God but also your father and closest friend. He desires to be with you and spend time with you. He wants to see the beauty of the world through your eyes. He wants your uniqueness and your swag. But you have been thinking that you will “lose your cool” and people will look at you differently. But He’s saying He will take what you and others “thought was cool” and make it into something far greater. All eyes will be on you but for the right reasons. People will be drawn to the real you and not the version of you that’s been masquerading. He wants you to know that he hears your debate—your back and forth about whether or not it’s worth it. He wants you to know that IT IS! You can’t even fathom what He’s going to do in you and through you. Just surrender your heart to Him today.
How He decides to lead you and where He leads you are between the two of you and no one else. No one gets to tell you where to go or how to be. It’s just the two of you—the way it’s supposed to be. He will guide you. He will show you. All the questions you have about “Can I do this? Or will I have to give up that?” will come in their due seasons. He will prepare you for what’s ahead. You’re not losing anything that you think you are.
Conviction vs. Condemnation
As I was getting all of this, He wanted me to share something about the difference between conviction and condemnation. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sin when we are out of alignment with God. But Satan condemns us. God gave me an illustration to share.
Imagine the strings of an instrument. If you pluck a string, it will vibrate, and that vibration will release a sound. When God plucks your heartstring, that sound is grounded in peace and love. That peace and love will draw you to repentance. When the enemy plucks at your heartstring, that sound is grounded in confusion, chaos, and torment (think of someone playing an off-key note). That chaos and torment will lead you into condemnation.
When I was convicted this morning, it wasn’t this harsh lashing of “Look what you did! See, you don’t trust God. You don’t have any faith.” Instead, it was gentle and full of grace and mercy. It was laced with love, which brought me to a place of repentance. God’s love draws you, and the enemy’s torment causes you to run and hide—as Adam and Eve hid in the garden of Eden. Anytime you find yourself hiding, just know that you can always run into the safety of your loving Father’s arms. When something comes up for you, just sit with it long enough to hear, see, and feel what’s coming up for you, and you will know whether or not it is God or the enemy.
Well, that’s all I have for you today. I pray that this is a blessing to whoever it was meant to be a blessing to. Even if it was just for me…I receive it!😁
Until next time…Be Blessed & Go Forth In Faith…Smooches 😘😘