I happened upon this song one day as I was listening to a mix on YouTube while working. I was battling a bit of imposter syndrome during this time, questioning whether or not I would be able to rise to the occasion and truly pursue what I knew God was calling me to do. I know I’m not alone when I say that sometimes I’ve felt like I didn’t measure up. I grew up being told I was too skinny, not pretty enough, not light enough, not smart enough, and too “churchy.” I was either “too much of this or not enough of that.” Some people, I guess, are able to dodge those poisonous darts like skilled ninjas, but my tender young heart soaked it all in like a sponge and those bad seeds would ultimately contaminate my spirit and spread like a bad virus. It caused me to take a back seat in my own life, never wanting the spotlight because I was afraid too people would see all my flaws and see that I wasn’t good enough. But thank God for His love, grace, and mercy that has amazingly transformed my life. It was in my pursuit to get to know Him that he began to show me, ME! Who He had made me to be– my true identity. And then slowly he walked me through a process of inner healing and deliverance that you are witnessing the fruit of today.
I was enough and YOU are too! We have everything we need already inside of us. I believe that God places those seeds in us as we are born and they spring forth, grow and produce fruit. However, just like the parable of the sower, when that seed is sown, the enemy of our souls comes to kill, steal, and destroy it. He’ll try to use the cares of this world and the negative commentary of others to choke the life right out of it. Ever shared a dream with someone only to have them shoot it down dead crushing your spirit? Or he’ll try to discourage us with the shame and guilt of the past to make us think that we’ve messed up too much and don’t deserve the amazing things God has for us. He’ll even try to get us to believe the lies that we’re not worthy and whatever else his stank tail can think of to keep us in doubt and fear. All lies!!
In my life, God had to pluck up every tree that had taken root in my life that He didn’t plant. I had to confront childhood trauma and the defense mechanisms I created, as a result, to keep me safe but were at the same time causing me more pain. I had to confront self-sabotage, negative self-talk, and a poverty mindset. He had to uproot imposter syndrome, fear of rejection, and the need for affirmation from people. All of these things had to be removed in order for me to move forward and produce and bear the good fruit God had planted in my heart. Although the process of inner healing and deliverance wasn’t at all pleasant, Fam it was well worth it! Absolutely nothing compares to the freedom I now have in Him. And although life continues to happen and situations and circumstances may arise that threaten my freedom, I now have the tools to keep the garden of my heart weed-free!
So what about you? What has been keeping you in the background of your own life? What has you playing a guest role in the story of your own life? How has God been walking you through it? Or maybe you’re like, “Anji that’s me, but I don’t know where to even begin to break free,” well Fam you are not alone! This blog exists just for you for this exact purpose, for us to walk this out together. You don’t have to have it all figured out. All you needed is a willing heart and a desire for more of Him. He’ll lead you down the path all you have to do is walk with Him!
So I hope that this song is the gentle reminder that you need today to KEEP IT MOVING! You are enough because HE is enough! Keep moving towards Him.
Love you, Fam! And until next time…Smooches…your girl, Anji.
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