Today’s song Happy Being Me by Donald Lawrence & Company was the song that danced me right into my next season. After spending time doing the much-needed work to discover the real me, I was finally at a place of complete and total acceptance of who I was. I could now say with confidence that I loved myself and actually mean it, know it, and live it.
When I look back at my life and see where God has brought me from I can’t do anything but give Him all the glory…all the honor…and all the praise! It was only His love for me that brought me to a place of love for myself. The way that He walked me through this season just added to my admiration for Him because it was masterful! It exuded His divine providence and had His signature all upon it. He would send me the people I needed, the books I needed, the messages I needed, all right on time and in His unique way. I just had to be paying attention.
There were two significant discoveries I made during this time that completely transformed my life and that was discovering how I loved and how I functioned. The key that unlocked how I loved was the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman given to me by a dear friend. God bless the soul of this man because this book really changed my life! Then there’s the book Quiet by Susan Cain, which made my soul leap for joy.
Learning my love language was like letting out a long-awaited sigh after holding my breath for years. It brought me so much relief and clarity. It just made everything make sense. It helped me to not only see myself differently but others. This knowledge completely transformed my life and relationships with family, friends, and people in general. It literally cleared up a mess of confusion I was having in a particular relationship in my life in minutes! Our lack of communication was because we were speaking two different love languages. My love language was words of affirmation and theirs was the act of service. Once I knew this, it alleviated the tension and confusion between us and I was able to move forward in wisdom. It was life-changing!
The day I discovered I was an introvert just made ME make sense. It was the day I understood myself for the first time ever! For years, I thought something was wrong with me because things that lit other people up drained the life out of me. I was often misunderstood and labeled which just caused me to retreat even more, especially when I was in the midst of a bout of depression. When there was nothing wrong with me at all! I just processed information and recharged differently those who were more extroverted.
I’ll never forget walking around the Rose Bowl and stopping dead in my tracks as the lady I met at this church I was visiting shared her experience with the book. It was like she was describing me! I immediately went and downloaded the audiobook. Several times throughout the book I would have to stop and shake my head in awe and utter disbelief because had I had this knowledge many years earlier it could’ve saved me years of grief and struggle. But thank God, I was getting free now!
Those two discoveries gave me such a deeper understanding of how God had made ME. These were just some of the traits that made me unique. The things that made me–ME! I can’t describe the joy that radiated within me from the love I now possessed. Now that I had this deep love within I didn’t have to look for it elsewhere. I didn’t have to look to family, friends, men, society, or anyone else to tell me who I was or that I was loved. I knew who I was in Him and I knew I was loved by Him–and Me! That was all I needed.
Things I used to get mocked for and despised about myself were now things I loved. I can now say that:
- I love my nerdiness
- I love my thin frame…skinny 3rd-grade arms and all!
- I love my youthful high-pitched squeaky voice
- I love my quirky brain and its curiosity
- I love my sense of humor
- I love my sensitivity
- I love my vulnerability
- I love my emotional heart
- I love my introverted ways
- I love all of me
And I make no excuses or apologies for the things that make me WHO I AM.
Two years ago, I met a Christian woman in her 70s who shared that she was in search of who she was and it broke my heart. It broke my heart because I could feel the pain in her voice because I knew it all too well. It also broke my heart because it could’ve been my story. I could still be searching, still be buried beneath the surface, and merely existing had I not allowed God to take me through this process and do the work.
It’s my prayer that if you’re struggling with any identity issues, depression, anxiety, low-self esteem, a feeling of unworthiness, or whatever has made you feel not so good about yourself, that you will allow God to show you–YOU! Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you into a wonderful journey of healing, love, and self-discovery that will bring you into a place of peace and joy. Because there is nothing like it–Nothing!
Well, that’s all I have for you today. I look forward to sharing more with you on Day 14 of this 30-day challenge.
Until next time…Be Blessed & Go Forth In Faith…Smooches 😘😘